Reading : What the young girls are reading in SEC2 cities
50% of the erotic novel (ie. 50 Shades of Gray) readers
in India are teenage girls. 75% of Satanism (read the previous report)
followers in India are girls! The divorce rates are phenomenally increasing,
mostly among young independent couples staying in cities like Bangalore and
Mumbai. Being a divorcee and trying for second marriage, is de-stigmatized
today and no more a social curse. The match-making sites like Second Shadi
(second marriage) are in vogue. More so, a relationship status change (in
social network like Facebook) from ‘engaged or married to’ to ‘independent’
indeed becomes a reason for celebration!
‘you know, it’s like being a free bird, one can play around, one can
establish her identity, without depending on somebody’ stated Rima Chanda( 21
years), a college student from Delhi University who recently discarded her long
term ex boyfriend (‘he was not compassionate enough’ she argues) and dating
many to select the most suitable one. ‘Well, they all are my good friends! And
dating need not necessarily lead to bed (even if so, what’s wrong in it if both
agrees… ) watching a movie together or driving down to Goa might also be called
as dating, no? in fact, sometime, we all go out together!’ she adds. Her ‘best
man’ is her school mate who she insists is not her ‘date’ but a good friend to
be with and feel protected. This reminds me a super-hit Bollywood movie
starring Ranveer Kapoor and Deepika Padukone.
In a country where the girls are still suppressed,
abused, teased and traumatized, a section is practicing their new found freedom
by various means. The article in Time of
India elaborates the surge of erotic book reading “What used to be a romantic sojourn through Mills &
Boon novels has now been taken over by descriptive erotica. Though the such
novels were were earlier available too, they were generally off the limits for
the youngsters, who used to take help of their older friends or even photostat
the whole book from someone instead of buying a new copy. Post 50 Shades of
Grey, the things have changed completely. With all the hype created by the
media blitz, '50 Shades' has been able to break through that taboo, so much so
that it became a talking point, ranging from workplaces to college canteens…
"When a friend of mine, who studies in Delhi, told me about the novel, I
was very apprehensive about going to a shop and buying a copy myself. Hence, I
had to ask her to courier me a copy from Delhi," says Sucheta Mitra, 23,
who is pursuing her PG. "However, since then, the scenario has changed
completely and now the girls are more open to going to the stores and asking
for particular novels themselves, which was not the case earlier," she
adds…. Concurring with the trend, Munna Toppo, a salesperson with a prominent
book store in the city says, "Earlier the girls used to ask only for soft
romantic novels like Mills and Boon series and other similar works. Rarely one
used to ask for the novels of erotic genre but after '50 Shades', things have
changed completely. More than 60% for our customers for such novels are girls,
mostly college students. While some prefer to look at the shelves and scout for
books themselves, those in a hurry simply mention the name of the book and pay the
bill and leave."… Even the youngsters have no qualms accepting their
choices and prefer calling it a result of the overall openness, a result of
overall societal changes. "I don't understand why people should have any
issue with what I'm reading or not. It should be totally my call and
thankfully, the things are finally changing. Youngsters have always been very
liberal in discussing sexual matters so why should people expect us to continue
reading flowery stuff when everything is about more graphic and descriptive
these days?," says Namrata Johri, 24 and an MBA student.
worshipping: The growing
satan worshipping in North East, Kerala, Pondicherry, Goa…
Another report states
that Satan worshipping is growing in North Eastarn India, mostly among girls. The
Morung Express mentioned that in Nagaland ‘Among the people possessed
by Satan and his evil spirits, girls consist of 75 per cent, women-5 per cent
and men-20 per cent’ . Ingene
correspondents investigated the socio psychology and understood that the
concept of ‘Satan’s Bride’ which bestows perceived black magic power to express
self and protest against social obligations (Churches and their strict norms) is
attracting girls in NE India.
Relationship: Live in
relationship and breakups
Time of India reported that the live in relationships in
Bangalore are in raise and most of the live in relationships rotate around
convenience rather than love! Hence an unwanted break-up is inevitable. Most live-in couples are in the 25-35 age group. To get
accommodation, they declare themselves a married couple. Counsellors say such
relationships are for financial and social security.
To get a house on rent, live-in couples tell landlords they are married. "They live like husband and wife, but their relationship has no legal sanction. When there is a break-up, we refer it to police as a case of cheating," says Aparna Poonesh, a counsellor at the Sahaya Vani. "It's for social and financial security. Nearly 60% of the cases referred to us revolve around sex," says Shetty. Most cases brought to the Sahaya Vani are from the corporate world. "They get to know each other mostly through social media, and share the same language and culture. With their peer groups away, they have individual choices and freedom," she adds. In bangalore, Most live-in couples are from outside Karnataka. They find it convenient to live with someone from their own place. Things fall apart when the boy refuses to marry the girl. This technology hub is witnessing a sharp rise in cases of discord in live-in relationships. Most cases reported are those of people working in the software and BPO industries. "The number of cases of break-up in live-in relationships was 30 during 2011-12. This rose to 42 between April 2012 and March 2013. With an average of six cases reported every month, the number is expected to double this year," says Rani Shetty, chief coordinator with Mahila Sahaya Vani, a family counselling centre attached to city police.
The divorce cases are also increasing sharply (20% increase in Bangalore). Recently, Government started 3 more family courts to resolve the pending divorce cases. In a TOI report relationship expert Dr Shyam Bhat, "Earlier too, there were people trapped in unhappy marriages, but divorce was a dirty word back then, and there was social stigma attached to it. Nowadays, divorces are commonplace and there's no social stigma around it, especially in urban centres. Gender roles have evolved tremendously and rapidly, and both the man and the woman increasingly want to inhabit a more egalitarian society. The joint family system of the past afforded more time to a husband and wife to iron out their issues and differences. The child was unaffected because he had others in the family to fall back on." Dr Bhat adds, "Nowadays, we live in nuclear set-ups, where, more often than not, both the wife and husband are stressed out. Their lifestyles entail high stress. Divorce is the result of social change, not the cause of it. So, while, yes, more family courts might encourage some to end their marriages without giving it a chance, but, conversely, it might also help many who are trapped in miserable marriages to get out of them faster." PS Dinesh Kumar, civil lawyer and mediator, says, "Today, since most couples are working, their timings don't match, there is a lack of interpersonal communication. Most couples file for divorce with 'incompatibility' as their problem." Should, then, incompatibility be seen as a one-way street from where things invariably go downhill? Actor and businessman, Vishal Hegde, who got hitched recently, doesn't seem to think so.
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